How to Deal with Hearthbreak

How to Deal with Hearthbreak

19:44

“Being hurt at heart is one of the hardest things to deal with. But God didn’t create us with the ability to love simply to torture us with it. He also made us with the ability to heal. It takes time to fall in love with a person, and it takes time to recover when your relationship with that person ends. But it can be done. The heart does heal.”

“I thought I had found the right person for me. ‘I could spend forever with this guy,’ I told myself. But after two months of dating, I had to break up with him. I couldn’t believe that what started so great could end so fast!” 

... Grace 

“It seemed as if we couldn’t be more alike. In my mind, I already had us married. As time passed, however, I began to realize how different we were. When I saw what a huge mistake I was making, I broke up with him.”

...Helen.

Have you been through something similar? If so, this article can help you deal with the experience.



WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW
A breakup can be painful, even for the person who initiated it. “I felt terrible!” says a young woman named Sarah, who broke up with her boyfriend after six months. “One minute this person was in my life and in my future; the next minute he was gone. Then I’d hear songs that were special to the two of us, and that would remind me of the good times we had. I’d be at places that were special to us, and I’d feel the pain of his absence. I felt all of this even though I was the one who initiated the breakup!”

A breakup, though painful, can be a good thing. “You don’t want to hurt the person,”. “On the other hand, you realize that eventually it would hurt both of you if you were to pursue a courtship that just isn’t working.  “I think if you aren’t happy with someone when you’re dating him, you probably won’t be happy married to him, so breaking up is for the best,”.

A breakup does not make you a failure. Really, a successful courtship ends in a decision, not always in marriage. If either you or your partner has serious misgivings, the right decision may well be to break up. If that happens, the fact that the relationship has failed does not mean that you have failed.

 You can move on! How?

 WHAT YOU CAN DO
1. When you break up with someone who was that close, a period of grieving is normal. “A relationship has ended,” “and there’s always some pain involved in that, even if you know it’s for the best.” You might feel similar to King David of the Bible. “All night long I soak my bed with tears,” he wrote during a period of anguish. (Psalm 6:6) Sometimes the best way out of pain is through it, not around it. Acknowledging the reality of your own feelings can be the first step in healing.

2. Associate with people who care about you. Admittedly, that may not be easy. “At first, I didn’t even want to see people,” admits Anna, “I needed time to recover, to go over everything in my head and make sense of it all.” In time, though, Anna saw the wisdom of spending time with close friends who could build her up. “I have a better frame of mind now,” she says, “and the breakup isn’t as devastating to me as it was before.”

3. Learn from what happened. Ask yourself: ‘Has this experience revealed any areas in which I need to grow? What, if anything, would I do differently in my next relationship?'. The break up may necessarily be as a result of misgiving, but you still need to evaluate it, the things you should have done differently. It will help make you a better person in your next relationship

4. Do not just jump into another relationship. Healing takes time and you need to totally recover from the former before going into another. Jumping into another relationship may create fear,

"She was punishing me for her ex's sins" says Jim "We started well but after awhile, she became so aggressive, then one day i confronted her and she  broke down and confessed she hasn't recovered from her initial break up".

Jumping into another will affect your new partner negatively in one way or another. It is ideal if let yourself recover totally before considering new options.

5. "Pray about your anxiety. The Bible says that God “heals the brokenhearted; he binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3) While he is not a celestial matchmaker—nor can he be blamed when a courtship ends. God has an interest in your well-being. Pour out your feelings to him in prayer.




KEY SCRIPTURES

    “Be agitated . . . Have your say in your heart, upon your bed.”—Psalm 4:4.

    “A true friend . . . is born for times of distress.”—Proverbs 17:17.

    “Throw all your anxiety on [God], because he cares for you.”—1 Peter 5:7.